Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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