youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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