she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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