so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
