Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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