her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
