i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
