EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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