Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
