I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
