She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
