I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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