please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
