You work out of a Hotel?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize