I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
