if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
