I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
