I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
