i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
