Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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