he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
