20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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