omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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