we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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