I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
