dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
