He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
