We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
