So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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