what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
