Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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