I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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