It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
