grandma shit on top of the toilet
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize