i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
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