nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize