do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
