I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
