What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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