Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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