Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
