i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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