I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
