I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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