If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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