bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
