Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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