I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
