Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
