it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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