You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
