Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
