i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The beer is more important than you right now.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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