So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
