I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
