my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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