He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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