hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
