Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We got so high we made milksteak
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
